Moderator Or Abstainer

Moderator Or Abstainer

   November 09, 2020       Vussey

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 Which Are You?

Because it is said that you are one or the other.  Me, I am a moderator, whereas my husband is an abstainer, and that in itself can make things a little tricky in our household. You may have noticed the same in yours, however may not have realised, up until now perhaps.

Habits 

It’s not just a matter of a habit, although an habitual routine is very important when we look at how we want to change our lifestyle, and even then we haven’t formed a habit until we have repeated the sequence over a period of 90 days at least.  Any new change becomes a habit when we have been doing it for at least 3 months, sometimes a habit won’t take hold until anywhere up to 8 months! However, abstaining and moderating, being one way or another is nothing to do with habit, and is not something we can learn to do or change.

What we need to do is adapt our lifestyle once we understand which we are and how we go about conforming to it.  That’s where the habit starts, not the other way around.

Everything In Moderation

How many times have you heard that?  For some it’s certainly true, but not for everyone, so that saying can not always be helpful and yet sometimes hurtful. ‘A little bit of what you like does you no harm’?  Perhaps, yes, but only in a moderator is this absolutely fine. 

A moderator is someone who can have a little bit of what they desire, because they know they can stop there. A moderator, for example, can keep that pack of biscuits in the house and eat one or two every now and again, or have one square of chocolate when they need a chocolate fix. They can have a glass of wine or two when they would like some without polishing off the whole bottle. The important point to remember here is that a moderator knows when and how to stop, without finding this difficult. They’ll know when they’ve had enough, or when they shouldn’t have any more even if they want to because they are trying to cut down, so it’s the right thing to do. There is this reasoning which tells them that it’s OK to want more, but not OK to have more, so it’s time to stop and they can always have it again another time.  Conversely, they will get panicked by the thought of never being able to have something. 

One key point to note with moderators, the reason they can have ‘everything in moderation’ is that these actions do not set them down a cravings path.

Moderation in all things, especially moderation - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don’t Deprive Yourself 

For an abstainer, that couldn’t be more wrong as that’s exactly what they should do. If we are talking food or drink for example, just a taste of something they shouldn’t have leads them into wanting the lot! An abstainer simply cannot have ‘just the one’!  One glass of wine and they have to finish the bottle, one square of chocolate and they have to eat the whole bar.  In fact, everything they have will be to excess - salt, pepper, chilli, alcohol, even their behaviours, they will enjoy to spend to excess too. For this group, to maintain a healthy lifestyle, if they want to cut down on something, they need to cut it out completely. It must be an all or nothing discipline, and because of that, they are not tempted by things that they have made the decision are off limits to them.

Someone who chooses to abstain because this is the path of least resistance for them, often find that it can be easier for them to succeed when going on strict regimes, like cutting out carbs, or the carnivore diet for example, anything where a particular food group has to be cut out completely will not only be easier for them to follow because they don’t have to be careful how much they are having, and be tempted, but also because they can relax knowing that they don’t need self control. An abstainer will always wrestle with themselves, but they never win, temptation must be avoided.

Abstaining is favourable both to the head and to the pocket - W.C. Fields

Where Does Harmony Sit?

So which one is preferable?  Would you prefer to be one or the other if you could choose?

I’m not sure if two of the same type lived together if it would be better for the household, perhaps I could be enlightened on that point. My guess is that it would be easier for the relationship, and easier on the shopping. When you have opposing types, is where you might have conflict. 

An abstainer who likes to drink for example, should not drink at all as they will always drink too much.  However, if they live with someone who is a moderator it can be extremely difficult for them as that person can happily enjoy one or two glasses and stop there. The question in that household then is, should there be alcohol in the house or not?  The same questions can be posed with chocolate, biscuits, so on and so forth. Is the answer to take the temptation out of the way,  then one will suffer, is that fair, or is it about compromise?  These are difficult questions, and perhaps why some partnerships ultimately don’t work, could that be possible?  They say opposites attract, however, I am not so sure when it comes to living together in harmony.

The options are these: -

• the moderator must go without, so temptation is not there for the abstainer
• the abstainer must go without, regardless of what is going on around them
• they both decide to partake, which means the abstainer will inevitably overindulge 

I am not sure any of these are feasible options which make for a truly contented environment, however this struggle goes on and on, around me, you, us, every day. After all, until we learn to understand and then accept how we behave and what motivates us, we will forever wrestle inwardly with those challenges.

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Two Of My Favourite Things Come Together - Prawn Couscous

Two Of My Favourite Things Come Together - Prawn Couscous

   October 25, 2020       Vussey

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 Versatile, Tasty, One To Share.

This is such a great recipe because it is so versatile, and I love anything where I can switch it around depending on what I have or how I’m feeling, and this is exactly that kind of meal.

The Prawns can be baked in the oven as I have done here, I prefer them done that way, though be careful to not overcook them, or pan fry them if you prefer, it really doesn’t make much of a difference to the final result. I prefer to keep them in the same dish, marinade them, then pop them straight in the oven.  That’s easier and also less washing up! Plus, you get to drizzle on all those lovely juices. If you want to devein the prawns, you can do this either before the marinating process, which I do as this allows the marinade to get deeper into the prawn itself, or you can do this as you eat - this is entirely subjective.

The couscous too can be changed for anything else you might prefer, salad would be a nice alternative. I personally, love couscous, it is one of the easiest and quickest dishes to prepare in the kitchen which means it’s great for a mid week meal when you’re busy.  With the couscous, I have added some pretty basic flavours, however you can add anything you fancy, anything which compliments the prawns, which of course, asparagus does.

Now you might have wondered why my recipe mentions asparagus ends? Whether it was a mis-print and no it wasn’t. I love to use as much of the food I buy as possible with very little wastage. To this end, asparagus is a perfect example. Like most people, I snap off the ends and use the tips in most recipes, however I don’t then chuck those ends, but put them in the fridge for another meal like this one for example. So for this, I take those ends, peel them, and thinly slice from the best end until I get to the very dry and woody part. That’s good for stock.

So those are my asparagus ends - still sweet and lovely and great to cook with.

And this, this is a great dish, try it.

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As A Nation We Hanker For Good Food, Yet Do We Know What It Is?

As A Nation We Hanker For Good Food, Yet Do We Know What It Is?

   October 11, 2020       Vussey

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 Let Me Ask, Do You Dilly-Dally In The Deli?

I love them myself, always have, and I can’t resist walking into one wherever they are, but the problem I have is that I’m nearly always, if not always, disappointed.  They are never quite what I’m expecting, or hoping for. They never have what I want, and they never surprise me, which for me is the most disappointing thing of all. Frankly, I rarely dilly-dally, and if I do, it’s nearly always because I’m, dare I say, awkward as I have walked in there and am now going to have to walk out with nothing and it’s definitely not going to go unnoticed because invariably I am the only person in there!  That’s another thing about these deli’s here in the UK, they are nearly always empty. Just how do they continue to survive?

Keep Trying

However as a nation, we keep trying, we open up yet another, I always see one on the high street, and again get excited (what the hell for I don’t know), so I’m guessing the research must be there. 

In my opinion we all like to think we want to eat good food and we all like to think we know about good food, yet when it comes down to it, neither is true of the majority of the British.  If you have ever had the opportunity to visit a deli in any other county in Europe then you will understand where I am coming from. When you step into a deli here in the UK your heart starts to sink when you catch a glimpse, immediately upon entering, of those familiar products and you sigh under your breath, thinking to yourself, ‘here we go again’! 

The produce

What we are looking for when we go in is produce which is fresh, new, interesting, pure, tasty, unique and both local & international. What we see when we enter is a cabinet filled with exactly the same kinds of cheese we can source at the supermarket, only less of a selection. There are the plastic vacuum packed meats we can get anywhere, along with the usual suspects in the meat counter. We see bags upon bags of pasta of all shapes, sizes and colours, there are tins and jars which upon first glance might appear interesting, but which are in fact easily sourced from the specialist sections at any large store.  Boring! All so predictable and boring!

The cost

There is one thing I do find unique when shopping at these deli’s - that’s the price!  They purely overcharge for everything, I should imagine to pay for their overheads. These are invariably independent sellers, so If they’re selling the same goods as the supermarket, you can’t expect them to be able to sell it at the same price?  Exactly the reason why they need to offer something different - give the customer something unique and you’ll not only give them a reason to shop with you, but you can charge them accordingly as they can only purchase that product from you in that area. Be different. Be deliciously delicatessen for a change!

If you know of a good, different deli in your area which you would recommend, then let me know as I would love to visit them, be surprised and delighted, and if I am I will add them to My Recommendations.

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Another Old Favourite, Chilli Con Carne

Another Old Favourite, Chilli Con Carne

   October 10, 2020       Vussey

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 Some Like It Hot!

But here’s my version, and it is less hot, but really good.  In my household, I have to cater for many tastes, some like it hot, and some not so, therefore, I give my Chilli Con Carne a bit of a kick, so it defines the dish, but for the more discerning fire eaters, I lay the table with some Jalapeño’s to top it off. I also like to serve with small sides of homemade salsa, and guacamole.

As always, I like to use really good ingredients in this Chilli, and the tinned tomatoes are not only tasty, but are the perfect consistency. I use these ones from Mutti you can get them from good supermarkets. The smokey tomato and hot chipotle chilli pastes are from the Marks & Spencer Cook With range, its a fabulous collection. I notice that more and more cooks are adding chocolate now to their chilli, though I have used chocolate in my recipe for as long as I have been making it. It adds the depth of flavour and a richness that you can’t get from anything else when you’re making the flavours from scratch, it really is not the same without it. I use mostly Galaxy which is soft and silky and melds into the dish perfectly, and when I can’t get hold of it, I will use a good Belgian chocolate, but always milk chocolate.

So here it is, try it!

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Disastrous Lunch, Corporate Norm

Disastrous Lunch, Corporate Norm

   September 27, 2020       Vussey

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Let Me Explain...

Actually there will be those out there reading this to whom there needs no explanation, you know who you are, and those who don’t, well, you either don’t visit the corporate hotels very often, or you still don’t know what good food and good service is.

It is about time these hotels and restaurants were brought to account, but for now they get away with it, asking top rates for a second rate service.

Let down

I have learnt enough, over time, never to go to these corporate hotels for lunch or dinner, unless they’re places which have surprised me positively in the past, however on this occasion I had a business meeting at this particular hotel.

Started with the drinks

We ordered coffees when we arrived, and though nothing major, they were not great. I ordered the flat white, I like it, and who can get that wrong, but it was massive! Isn’t the flat white usually smaller than the cappuccino, latte and all the other gallon sized coffees? Another reason why I order it.

The drinks with lunch didn’t get any better. I ordered tonic water, and when it arrived in a pint glass when I hadn’t ordered a pint I guessed something was a awry.  I took a sip and although I had known anyway, swiftly asked if it was tonic or was it actually soda water he had given me. It was soda he had given me! Two orders down, waiting for the meal, I was wondering by now quite what that was going to be like, I had been nervous of ordering anyway, as I always am in these places, but the signs were already there.

Downhill From There

We ordered our food. The menu wasn’t extensive actually which is a good thing, right? This means they can keep on top of the cooking and the ingredients. My colleague had chosen already, then I decided to have the sourdough toasted sandwich. At that, my colleague changed their mind, saying they loved sourdough so this sounded great. We both plumped for that, I also ordered the sweet potato fries. 

The food arrived, and I looked at it in disbelief. The ‘sourdough’ was normal white bread! Not even home baked crusty loaf, uncut, thick cut, granary, wholemeal - Normal basic, cheap, white bread!!! He placed the plates down and walked away. Is this the state of the British nation that we have mug stamped on our foreheads when we dine out so we can be served anything and they don’t have to explain or take ownership for what they are serving up?

When I questioned the bread he told us that they had run out of the sourdough, simple as that - are we to believe that a top hotel (this is a very exclusive international chain) can change the main element of a dish and not even bother to inform or ask the diner? Absolutely unacceptable.

I wonder too, what their stance on wastage would be if it were published?

Service

And what about the service? If that wasn’t enough to give you an idea about the hotel ethics, their food and their service anyway, I would like to add again that the hotel this day was very quiet. The person serving us had made many mistakes, when asked for pepper for the table, he forgot to bring it. We did not bother to ask twice, the mistakes by now were becoming tedious, however I clocked him walking past our table at one point and he glanced over at us, we had nearly finished our meal, and at that point I said to my colleague ‘the penny has just dropped’. A moment later, not better late than never though, he came over with the pepper!

And, for the record, my sweet potato fries were hard in the middle, they couldn’t even get those right, so all in all, they scored a hat trick! Truly an awful meal, and an equally awful experience, and one that is becoming all too common.

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Food For Thought

Food For Thought

   September 14, 2020       Vussey

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Let Me Ask, Does Fast Food Leave You Fasting?

I travel around the country a lot and guess what? I am really fed up with the kinds of food, fast food, which is available to me on the go!

Food on the go has stayed pretty much the same for years now - the same suppliers in the market, the likes of burger restaurants, fried chicken drive-thru, coffee houses (Which now have drive-thrus), and these are just a few where you needn’t even leave your vehicle and can order your meal through your window!  There’s a problem though, they are not really for the discerning foodie or the health aware are they, I mean lets face it. Though, admittedly, the burger joints might have introduced the odd salad here and there and the chicken places have a rice bowl, but made with the same gusto as their chicken and burgers, they are not!

What’s the alternative?

Are we asking too much for good food which is also healthy, tasty, accessible and quick? I don’t think so, and how about a drive thru which could offer juices, smoothies or soup? I suppose what I personally am looking for is not the current fast food restaurants to offer me second rate salads as a spin off, but a new and exciting one offering what I believe should and could be a bigger demographic, a tasty alternative. Don’t knock it until you try it.

But that’s my point - I want it (by the way, I am screaming this point). I want an alternative to these high fat, high sugar foods on the road that make me feel tired and sluggish when I’ve eaten them.  What they don’t do is make me want to continue to drive and work, which is not good, so ultimately I don’t stop and have them, which ultimately means I go without food on the days I don’t take something from home, which ultimately means I go hungry most days!

Obviously I should, can and do take homemade food to work, but not always and anyway, why can’t I have the pleasure of finding good food out and about. It is crazy how much easier it is to get a pasty, burger, fried chicken, fish & chips, pizza, sandwiches, subs, rolls (they all come under the same bready category) - a bakery can be found in every village or town, but try and find something in there which is light and even slightly healthy.  Some may have a pre packed salad or two sitting in their chiller, or just one flavour of soup on offer but to be honest the ones that do, well, lets say no more.

Desperation

The truth of the matter is this, having driven past fast food outlets deciding against going in, but deciding instead that upon entering the town they lay on the outskirts of I will find something more suitable there, I have actually been bereft of anything after walking up and down the high street searching for something ‘nice’.  Just ‘nice’.  I try to be less fussy than usual on so many occasions so I can at least be satisfied, but all I find is that well known bakery chain, or an independent which fares no better, a local supermarket or a deli which, come on, that’s a whole other story - when did we put a few jars of chutney on a shelf and a couple of hams in a cabinet and call it a deli in this country?

So hungry I go until one of two things happen - 1) either I get desperate (unusual), or 2) I come across a gem, a small independent cafe usually, where they have actually thought about the food they want to offer, make fresh salads with great ingredients, have an interesting appetising take-away menu and soups which are homemade and taste it! 

If you too have found this all a bit of a problem, then let me know what you have found, and more importantly, let me know about the little ‘gems’ you have come across, it would help me a great deal when I’m out and about.

So keep watching this space as I will be making note of these little gems, yours and mine, along the way, so keep following to find out where they are.

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A Real Crowd Pleaser, Pulled Pork - Perfect!

A Real Crowd Pleaser, Pulled Pork - Perfect!

   September 02, 2020       Vussey

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 No Time For Faff?  No Problem, Make Pulled Pork

Easy yet so satisfying and a versatile dish too. If you have a busy day, the oven does all the cooking and the end result is a dish which tastes as though you have been slaving away for hours! 

Exceptional flavours that can only come from long low slow cooking - those flavours you put together with the pork is up to you, but I have given my recommendation below in the recipe here for Spicy Pulled Pork.  I like a hit of heat to cut through the unctuous melting pork.

For more information on the added ingredient I chose to give a twist and depth to the mix, look at Daily Dose, the 60ml cold pressed ginger, which is actually a blend of ginger, lemon cayenne and agave. This is lovely and fiery, which is why I decided to add it, though this is entirely optional. 

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